We are on a continuous road of improvement from the time we arrive on this planet. By the time we are adults, many of us forget being simply happy about being ourselves.
We are all good at something. The simple act of making someone feel happy through our words or actions also reflect an ability that is intrinsically YOU. Not all have the patience, interest, knowledge or the awareness that the significance of making someone feel great about themselves is as important as treating yourself well
How can we make people feel good about being themselves without sounding a trifle patronizing?
1) A note of appreciation for a job well done or a great service makes a person feel valued.
When my collegue, Jane received a note of thanks that merely said, “Thanks for the support” from the Vice President of her organization, she was thrilled and taken aback. A quite and unassuming lady, she was delighted to have been noticed for her commitment to the organization despite not being in any visible leadership role.
2) When you involve yourself in someone’s life purely with the intention to help them be happy
When my cousin’s marriage broke down, it was a stranger’s silent and encouraging support that helped my cousin cope with the trauma. A stranger who had offered support purely to help my cousin through the difficult time.
A more recent incident was when I was attempting to park my car in a crowded park during the weekend. A kind man seeing my situation offered me his car’s place to park! He smiled at my concern for the obvious inconvenience I would be causing him and insisted that I park there while he decided to park his car further away from the car park and away from the main entrance to the park.
His decision to help was also based on pure altruism and goodwill.
3) Recogniton from your dear and near ones makes you feel very significant.
A reassuring happy pat on the shoulder or hug from your family members or friends in your moment of glory is one that makes a person feel recognized. Many a time a word of praise may not be as effective as an affectionate display of “Congrats”!
4) Appreciate a person entrusted with a responsibility or work and celebrate their importance.
I remember how a friend of mine, Rejimon, during his term as our Club’s V.P Membership, was as popular as a person as he was known as an effective leader. The secret to his fame was simple, he was genuinely nice and took efforts to make members of his team special. The surprise birthday bouquet he gifted to his amazed collegue during a meeting not just made her delighted but the rest of his team and Club feel great to be associated with a person like him. Dynamic, kind and generous are a few of the words that aptly describes him.
To be appreciative of others and make a person feel GREAT, we need to feel good being who we are. Emotional burdens comprising of lack of confidence, self esteem and inability to let go of distressing memories would not just prevent us from not feeling good but also prevent us from making others feel good too.
Being your own constructive critic is one step in your journey to improvement and feeling good about yourself. There may be moments when the satisfaction you experience is opposite of what you are led to believe by your well wishers. Their appreciation may be too generous and unreal because you know you could have done better.
Allow yourself to pay attention to your feelings, do not disregard it.
Respect you desire to spend some time for yourself in a day after work, eg: going for a walk or read in a quiet corner of your home needs to be attended to. It is conveying to you that you need a small break from the busy schedule you follow. It’s a “Call to Relax!”
The moment we consciously choose to treat people the way we would like to be treated, the change you would observe in the manner that others address and interact with you is beautiful. Take care of yourself – treat yourself like you would like others to treat you.
No one can be YOU. Work on your strengths and potential, love yourself and your desire to make the world a better place will be automatic.
As you begin to enjoy the joy of being YOU and the joy of creating smiles wherever you go, others around you would begin to appreciate and value the positive energy you radiate.
Celebrate existance and celebrate life.