How many times have we noticed someone in a gathering or in a room for the effortless manner they seem to be comfortable being with others? Their confidence that radiates from them is indeed infectious and prompts us to wonder whether they know others.
They could even be people who arrive as strangers but won others over with their sheer confidence!
In my life, I have come across few people who symbolize confidence to that level. My college friend, Prathibha’s mastery in communication is to be seen to be believed, she knew what to say, how to say and to whom to say.
A person who is truly charismatic would refrain from indulging in gossip or the flaws of others as they would rather focus on the positive aspects of life rather than indulge in an activity that is utterly non productive.
Radha Chechi, a pious simple but charming neighbour who lived in my Father’s village would enjoy long chats with me as a child. We would talk several matters- hobbies, school, life, spirituality and the one topic she would never indulge with me is gossip.
As a film producer who won the National Award in India for his first movie, “Thurakaatha Vaathil” (“The Door that Refuses to Open”), Mr.Aayiliyath Raghunath was and is well known for his passion to create movies. But for me, he is “Papa” (my husband’s Father) and someone whom I’ve admired for his sheer ability to give attention to detail and charm.
He seldom misses anything and he meticulously makes notes of his day’s chores, meetings, calls to wish his huge network of friends and relations on their birthdays and anniversaries, programs, preparations for his trips and so on.
A charismatic personality, his ability to give attention to detail along with warm attention to all is one that truly gives us an idea of what are the qualities we look for in a charismatic personality.
Charismatic folks dislikes criticising using harsh language and believes in constructive criticism. The manner they enable another to learn and understand from the mistake is nothing short of a lesson for others to follow.
My Father still recalls his charismatic Professor in U.K with reverence and admiration.
During a 1968, Navy Training Course in U.K, his Professor, who was an amazing teacher had taught him “it’s not what you say but how you say it” in situations where correction is needed. The professor’s remarkable method to tackle the errors made by students during discussions were a study to behold.
He would never respond to a mistake with a “You are wrong” but with a gracious, “There is another way of looking at the subject …” Even when the response of the student may have been completely wrong.
The virtue of humility is one that is sometimes overlooked amidst the race to succeed. Many charismatic people are remembered for their humility and their expressive nature. A nature that allows them to convey their concern for others without the baggage self importance. They come across as genuine and real too.
The late legendary Walt Disney was not merely known for his creativity and his multi million dollar empire, he was also known to have been one who possessed humility and character.
His concern for the people he worked with and his deep commitment to his beloved family is a reflection of the incredible personality he had.
A person’s charisma is a reflection of humility too. Humility has nothing to do with lack of confidence or self esteem and instead conveys the courage to do right things without seeking approval.
As Dan Reiland once said,
“How can you have charisma? Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are making them feel good about you”