Any discussion that even remotely dwells upon Motivation is not complete with touching upon Abraham Maslow’s revered Self Actualization Theory.
Maslow’s motivational ideology regarding those who achieve the pinnacle of fulfillment draws our attention to one of the fundamental keys to achieving success too.
It is a philosophy that many of those who have reached the blissful state of self actualization would vouch for. It is none other than the empowering feeling of taking charge of how you feel when we are rejected.
True, rejection is never pleasant but how can we reduce our disgruntled reaction to it?
By accepting with humility and dignity that every situation that we experience rejection teaches us a valuable lesson.
This was brought to my notice particularly a few weeks ago, when I was royally snubbed at my efforts to “just be the friendly person” that I believe I am.
For a person who takes immense joy in wishing people – family, friends and sometimes even acquaintances on the special days of their life, this was an eye-opener for me.
While a 99% of the people I may come across may enthusiastically appreciate my efforts in “adding a little cheer” in their life, many may not welcome this “intrusion” to their life.
A few weeks ago, I learnt the first part of this lesson –
1) Don’t Take People’s Responses For Granted
Since my first meeting with Joseph, he had conveyed a demeanor of cordiality but with a tinge of reservation. Choosing to believe the reservation as being part of his nature, I communicated with him as cheerfully as I do. My recent phone call to him on his birthday however, conveyed not just his usual tone of formal cordiality but a certain stiffness that seemed to convey an exasperated “here we go again”.
A trifle chastised, I politely enquired if my call had disturbed him.
Interestingly, his reply despite being a “No madam” was conveyed in the same tone.
With a brief and short pleasant apology and wishes for a great day, I concluded our conversation.
The significance of body language along with adequate non verbal communication had been religiously overlooked by me during my interactions with him. In my fervent enthusiasm in creating what I believe was a happier environment, I had overlooked the poor man’s distress to yearly thank me for a call he would rather go without!
Lesson number two was –
2) Respecting a Person’s Privacy
After attending a wellness program a few weeks ago, my usual request for birth dates along with email ids was met with a mysterious aura of suspicion from one lady.
After a brief silence, she responded to my request with a “It depends what you may want that information for”.
The magnitude of the impact of my request then struck me. In today’s technologically advanced world, privacy is even more deeply cherished and protected. For someone who may wish to keep personal details personal, my request for their date of birth is indeed an infringement of privacy.
Lesson number three was –
3) Respecting the Uniqueness of Every Individual
It is all about respecting another, after all respecting is about valuing their privacy, space, beliefs and individual differences.
Once I had come upon a perpetually anxious and highly strung lady. A pleasant and attractive woman who possibly due to personal reasons had enough on her mind to rattle her composure.
Her response to my request for her birth date was dismissive, silent and powerful. She gave it to me, patronizingly….almost as though it was a benevolent act of kindness on her part.
With a smile, I merely thanked her and bid her adieu.
Every individual comes from a different background, has unique characteristics and peculiarities. It is for us to observe the personality of each person that we come across and respect what we can understand of their temperament.
If you ask me whether these experiences have hindered my desire to know and wish people? No, in the slightest bit. However, my awareness of the need to show more respect has grown along with my appreciation for the distinctive personality every individual has .
By allowing the incidents of rejection to motivate us, we will not only be taking charge of how we feel, we will also enjoy being in control of our emotions and state of mind.