“With a scowl on her face, she would greet any one she was not familiar with. That included the team in her office. Ironically, even with those she was familiar with like her family, she seldom would have any faintly pleasant to say…”
Does the above description remind you of someone? Or maybe even yourself?
If you can recognize yourself as someone who is “rude” by nature, have you ever wondered what you gain by being rude to others around you? Why you may be resorting to this negative way of behaving with others?
I’ve come across several cases where people ruin their own happiness of the day by speaking unpleasantly to others and receiving responses that may either be coldly courteous or a pure reflection of what they showed.
Of course, their rude behavior may be due to their stress from the anxiety they face in their life, eg: having an ailing beloved family member or a personal crises like death of a loved one.
But in many cases, a deeper observation of many rude individuals will portray the deep insecurity about themselves, their low confidence, their insecurities and lack of understanding about human behavior.
Paulo Coelho, the famous Brazilian lyricist and novelist and recipient of the Crystal Award by the World Economic Forum, once said,
“How people treat others is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves”
Even arrogance, to a great extent, stems from the lack of confidence. Over confidence is also a misshapen belief in oneself and not a reflection of true confidence. It is the belief that “rudeness” aids in projecting the “right image”.
Lets take some of the often observed characteristics of a person with a “rude” demeanour:
1) They seldom have respect for others
2) They are suspicious of praise and compliments – consider these to be a reflection of ulterior motives.
3) They are rarely calm when facing criticism. In certain cases, an acquired sophistication helps to camouflage their seething emotions.
4) They are far more focused on their needs than empowering and helping others grow.
5) They are often highly conscious of societal perception.
6) Take perverse pleasure in contemptuously treating others or mocking them when given an opportunity.
7) Often are seen to enjoy controlling others – has a dictatorial leadership style
8) Prone to thinking the worse of others.
9) Believe that they need to flatter “important” people and ignore the ones they believe are not worthy of their attention.
Now if you believe that some of the above mentioned traits may belong to you or someone you love, how can you help your dear one overcome the tendency to be impudent or impolite?
The hard truth is that despite their seemingly confident lives and their contented “rude attitude”, very few are truly happy.
They carry a lot of emotional baggage with them that only weighs them down with the passing of time and “happiness” remains elusive despite their desperate attempts.
Is it possible to be happy without resorting to impudence and impertinence, yes, indeed.
By willing to give every one we come across a chance to prove their worth, focusing on the objective of our interaction with them and practicing a tolerance for individual differences, our desire to gain happiness through subjugation ceases to exist.
The only challenge in this transformation is, are we willing to let go of what we believed till now was the only way to lead our life – by being rude?