Encountering rude people or behavior is an experience none of us prefer to, but inevitably during our life, we do get to “greet” some!
The tendency for many of us would be reciprocate with coldness or reflect their behavior. The question is, does this behavior help US? Are we likely to be happier after our efforts in rebuffing them?
Without resorting to rebuffing them or “putting them in their place”, we do have several ways to tackle these people effectively, firmly and emerge happy from the encounter – well, at least in many cases.
Communicate with Confidence
I always recommend that any communication is to be generously laden with confidence, so why an exception in this situation? Handle your communication with confidence. Refuse to let the other person rattle you. Your confidence is a reflection that YOU are in control and not them.
Refuse to be Swayed by Societal Status Expectations
Most often than not, our distorted comprehension given to status or the societal importance of the rude person we are addressing can also lead us to believe that we are at a disadvantage. Indeed not, whether we are speaking to someone who may belong to a more financially secure group or whether the person belongs to a group that is socially and economically supreme, it does not matter.
Politeness and courtesy is a prerequisite of any social interaction. Our practice of that will also convey to the insolent person conversing with us that we do not believe in pandering to their behavior.
Refuse to Mirror Others unless their Actions are Worthy to be Emulated
Many believe that in order to be seen as important or distinguished, we need to follow the mannerisms of the lofty individuals we desire to become. This is also a tragic misconception. Our behavior needs to be based on the refinement and gracious manners of the individual we address and not based on the fact that “important” people get away with callously insensitive behavior.
Be Responsible for Your Decisions
As far as possible, considering the options we have in a situation, is a decision we need to make for ourselves. It is very easy and convenient for us to play a “blame game” when we deal with challenging people prone to anger or rudeness.
Making every attempt to control the situation would be an advantage for us and our happiness at the end of the day. Mudslinging and speaking in angry tones 99% of the time is hardly effective in achieving our goal in a conversation. If we are able to work out a harmonious conclusion that works well for both ourselves and the other person, it is even better and a reflection of true leadership skills.
Reciprocating with Kindness
This may initially appear as ludicrous and unimaginable. For many of us, reciprocating a rude person with kindness and civility may not be our first thought.
It is no guarantee for a sensible conversation to flow, but it certainly worth the effort. And I’ve observed that sometimes, we may unexpectedly gain a friend or at least a wonderful well wisher. This is a sweet yet powerful tool in conquering challenging people. Risky but highly effective if it succeeds.
Ofcourse, there may be moments we may come across when we wonder why we bother!
Like the communication I have always had with the receptionist at an office that I frequent.
Despite my repeated displays of warmth and interest in responding to her barely veiled coldness, I have to admit that the ice has yet to thaw!
Actually, I have no grudges or displeasure towards her behavior and enjoy enquiring about her day. Perhaps for the simple reason that I choose to show her the civility and courtesy in response to the challenging communication style that she adopts with me. Why? When I leave her office after wishing her a great day, I feel in control of my state of mind and that enables me to feel positive.
Let’s keep life simple and enjoy it the best way we can. This motto may appear to some as being naive but in reality, it is merely a serene reflection of our deep rooted conviction in what we do and how we wish to lead our lives…in our terms.