Apart from the obvious effect of abuse during the growing years, alcoholism and drug addiction are seen to be two of the commonly observed reasons why individuals sometimes turn out to be abusers.
Mental health illnesses and personality disorders have also been seen to sometimes act as factors leading to someone abusing another. Of course in all these cases, there is no 100% reason seen as a sure cause for an abuser to emerge.
Those who abuse are known to possess some of the common characteristics mentioned below –
1) Desire to Control and feel Powerful
2) Possess Excellent Social Behavior
3) Unrealistic Expectations
4) Low Self Worth
5) Highly Sensitive
6) Tendency to resort to alcohol abuse
7) Prone to Suspicion & Lack of Trust
8) May resort to Manipulation
Once an abuse survivor understands and accepts the reality of abuse in their life, the next step would be to face the facts for what they are.
1) An abuser is not be given the liberty to continue traumatizing a fellow human being for the scars he/she experienced in the past.
2) An abuser’s need to control and have power, stems from the passive behavior of the abuse survivor.
3) The abuser is conscious of their action and behavior.
4) Life is as precious to the abuse survivor as it is to the abuser
5) The abuse survivor has to be responsible for his/her happiness – take action.
6) Seek immediate help
Whether it is a physical or emotional abuse, the abuse survivor will be only able to overcome the trauma and horror of abuse by overcoming two of the biggest barriers to their freedom.
1) Accepting their decision to act as the best decision they are doing for themselves
2) Facing the fear of the unknown
Any decision to act upon the abusive behavior is better than taking no action and continuing an existence that drains the abuse survivor out of the spirit to live and thrive.
In rare cases, the abusers do turn over a leaf. The change in their behavior can only be accepted should they realize that their behavior is abusive. Their sense of responsibility, along with the desitre to change needs to be followed up with a steady course of action. A positive action that ensures that they are determined to overcome their undesirable behavior.
For many of those who silently suffer in the hands of their abusers, whether you are in your teens or you are an adult, the most important lesson that life tells us is that to not identify yourself as a victim. You are a survivor.
Keeping in mind the significance of happiness and health in our life, the resentment or anger an abuse survivor experiences harms in more than one way.
The values and self respect that as a member of society you cherish would be eroded by the devastating effects of loss of personal power. This loss would furthermore corrode the confidence to take responsibility of ones life and harmony.
The lesson that this experience would have taught you is that you are now empowered to heal those who may yet lack the confidence or courage to leave an abusive relationship or environment.
A survivor is not one who has merely found freedom and purpose in ones life but who has the wisdom and knowledge to help others.
Go on…make the world a better place. The way only survivors can.